Sometimes Fate gets it wrong. Maybe Fate woke up late or switched to decaf at the worst possible time, but sometimes the best signs come at the wrong time.
A few months back, I was perusing the local used bookstore for something to explore. As I waited for the associate to determine just how much store credit I had left over, I noticed an interesting looking book locked in a cabinet. Behind the glass was a copy of Olivia Munn’s book Suck it, Wonder Woman! The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek peering back at me. The book promised essays and stories from the person herself, a nonfiction subgenre I’m a total sucker for.
As soon as the associate was done, I told him to put it towards the aforementioned book. While unlocking the display to hand me my latest hardback to enjoy, he informs me that the book is autographed, thus heightening the anticipation of reading it.
Finding yourself with an autographed item secondhand can be a bit voyeuristic. Who was it that managed to meet and achieve the signature of this famous individual? Was it written to the person specifically or just a simple John Hancock?
As I paid the remaining balance and headed to the car, I found myself extremely curious as to the type of personalization Olivia may have done to this particular copy. The few other books I’d acquired with secondhand inscriptions were quite simple. One was merely Cameron Diaz’s scribbled name while the second referenced an inside joke the author had shared with the book’s original owner. Nothing noteworthy, though each time I read it I found myself feeling left out of a conversation.
The second my key turns over the ignition, I reach for my bag and pull out the book. After a few pages of anticipation, I find a great deal of writing written in a silver Sharpie. Bending the book so as to decipher the metallic message, I find myself that leaves me laughing hysterically. It read:
Get another one, She ain’t shit. For Realz.
Adam, there is more and better pussy out there
That’s my name. She’s talking to me? By some corruption of the cosmos, I get this message now. I’ve been looking for a sign to tell me who the one is for over a decade. Now that I was happily engaged to my amazing fiancé Tabitha, this only served as the exact type of thing to ignore. If only I had uncovered Olivia’s words when I was in an earlier relationship, this would have been the catalyst to save me from future embarrassment.
The inscription was something I found hilarious, but Tabitha was concerned it might be interpreted as directed towards her. As I looked at the publication date and the included flyer from the autograph event, I saw that this book had been published only after Tabitha and I had starting dating. This message was clearly intended for another Adam. Perhaps even a different version of me in another reality. But Fate had delivered a message that found its way to me, with minimal effort from me. Here was the wrong message meant to help.
My only disappointment is that it didn’t arrive at a time when I needed it. How might my life have changed? Would I have found Tabitha earlier in my life or later? Would I have even been in the same job field? The possible butterfly effect results could take years to sort out.
For the Adam who was supposed to receive the note of encouragement, I hope it worked. I pray that Olivia’s words pushed you towards a better and more fulfilling life.